Overconfidence in Online Dating, Yikes!

Confidence in dating is good. However, when it comes to online dating, being overly confident can be deadly. As a NYC matchmaker, I discourage my clients from believing that people have to accept them as they are. That is just plain cocky. If you have a face and body like Angelina Joie or Brad Pitt, you can probably prove me wrong. But everyone else, those of us who are mere mortals, can probably do a few things to bring out our inner “hotties.” After all, why should a perfect stranger be expected to accept you as you are if you are not presenting yourself at your best? The fact is, in the world of online matchmaking you’ re not giving anyone the benefit of getting to know you or accepting you unless they can first be attracted or intrigued by you.

Many Hollywood celebrities are basically just “us” with a bit of polish added. Without mentioning names, there are those that would go unnoticed without a bit of hair, makeup, clothes, and lighting. Lighting is especially important for mere mortals. It brings out charms that we never thought we had. In New York City you can find photographers who do headshots for about $100. If you want to know where they are, ask any struggling actor or actress. OK, so here is where being confident is important in online dating. One has to go for it. If you are looking for a prince or princess, then have the courage to dress like one. Take a risk, stand out. Find a stylish look and bring it with you to your photo shoot. The law of attraction basically says that like attracts like. That is, tasteful will usually attract tasteful, sporty will attract sporty and so on.

Trust me, the “you” with a bit of polish is still you. It is the you that is shrewd. We all have flaws and insecurities, but they don’t fully tell our whole story. Some may want to broadcast them upfront so that they might not be rejected later. That idea sounds good on paper, but in real life, “it isn’t necessarily so!” The same singles who send me pictures of themselves with comb-overs and dumpy outfits are the ones who chose attractive singles who took the time to present themselves in the best light. They seldom pick their dumpy unkempt counterpart. When I email their photos to these well-put-together singles, some politely decline while others emphatically refuse as if insulted. So take a solemn vow to never present anyone with less than you desire for yourself when online dating. Overconfidence without true merit! Yikes.

Holding the Camera Right – A Tutorial For Beginners

Cameras are tricky. Some come with comfortable grips while others are smooth, leaving it up to you to decide what the comfortable holding position is. The problem is that being so many different cameras on the market, photography beginners can get the feeling that holding one right is some sort of rocket science.

It’s not. Holding a camera differs from person to person as each and everyone has their personal preferences, but there are some basic guidelines to follow so that your grip is good and your photographs blur-free.

Here are the important things to check when taking your shots:

  1. Right hand holding the camera and controlling the settings
  2. Left hand supporting the weight of the camera
  3. Elbows tucked close to your body
  4. Camera close to your forehead for a viewfinder or not too far from your body for and LCD display
  5. Make sure the camera strap is around your wrist in case your grip is not that great yet!

Remember photographs are best taken when the camera is held with both hands and your body is in a steady position. With your right hand make sure your index finger is directly above the capture button. Your thumb should be at the bottom of the camera for support, and your other fingers curled around the front – making sure you haven’t covered the lens.

Your left hand can either be used to keep the camera steady or to control the lens depending on whether or not your camera needs you to manually adjust the lens. Also ensure that you are not blocking the flash if you are using it.

When using the view finder or the LCD display screen, make sure the camera is close to your body. If the camera only has an LCD display you have no choice but to hold the camera at a certain distance when taking a shot. Make sure that the distance is far enough for you to see and compose your image properly, and that your grip is firm. If your camera does have a viewfinder, place the camera firmly and comfortably against your face. For both the LCD and the viewfinder your elbows need to be tucked close to your body.

Portrait shots require that you hold the camera slightly differently. You will need to hold the camera in your left hand and support it with your right hand keeping your right index finger on the capture button. Be careful not to cover the flash as this is a common error especially with portrait shots.

Keep snapping and remember practice is all you need!

Preparation and Planning Is The Best Way To Approach Your Wedding

You are getting married, you have decided on a date – what next?

Even though your wedding day might be a year or more away, now is the time to start planning it. You want to be sure it is the best day of your life and for this to happen you will need to do some careful preparation.

Planning your wedding can be very stressful – but you can take all the stress out of the day with meticulous planning – treat it like a project and by the time you wedding day comes along, you will be able to relax and enjoy the day with your friends and family.

Like any major project, the more planning you do upfront, the better the end result.

it is a good idea to firstly think about the style of wedding you have in mind. Will it be indoors or outdoors, a garden setting or traditional format, the numbers of guests, the food and refreshments, the space and opportunities for photographs and of course, the weather.

Once you have decided on the style of wedding, you will want to look at venues. Visit more than one venue to give you some comparisons – remember you are looking for a unique experience and you want to get a feel for the place to see if it suits the style and theme of your wedding. Don’t be afraid to ask questions.

Also, be prepared to book early to avoid disappointments so you get to have the date of your choice.

Here are a few tips to include in your planning to ensure a successful day.

• Confirm the venue has been specifically designed for weddings and events
• Are there facilities to protect you and your guests from inclement weather?
• Plenty of opportunities for photographs (indoors and outdoors)
• Plenty of space for your guests to mix and mingle
• Soft background music to ensure your guests are comfortable while the formalities take place
• Quality sound system for the after wedding party festivities
• Provide transport for your guests

Following a few simple rules will find you in the last few weeks leading up to “your day” free to enjoy the last minute details and you and your partner will approach the day refreshed and relaxed.

Another good tip to avoid all the work landing in your lap is to ask family members and friends to assist, especially where you think they may be specifically suited to a task that you may not necessarily be good at, or even like.

There will be lots of small details as you get your arrangements in place and if you do everything yourself, you will approach the day feeling tired and frazzled! People love to help and to feel part of your special day – so don’t be afraid to ask or enlist their services.

How often have you heard? “How I wish I had asked for help instead of trying to do it all myself”…

The more you plan in advance the more you will enjoy your special day.